If you get stopped by the police in the car and they get you to wind the window down and askˏ ʹʹDo you know why we pulled you overˏ sir?ʹʹ
Apparentlyˏ ʹʹDid you forget?ʹʹ isnʹt a suitable answer.

BBC news: Met Police to help in the hunt for the missing girl Madeleine McCann.
After several years they announce this news. Nice to see their response time hasnʹt been affected by budget cuts.

I just got done for drink driving and was taken to a police station where I was made to give a urine sample.
The copper left the sample on the counter so I took it.
The bastards have now charged me with taking the piss.

Me to a cop: Donʹt bother putting those handcuffs on meˏ officerˏ they donʹt fit. Your wife has already established that.

Iʹm a Community Support Officerˏ and Iʹm a fake PC.

I recently got a job at a prison brothel.
It has its pros and cons.

I donʹt really get whatʹs so hot about role playing. I dated this black girl who wanted me to play the role of a police officer… so I tazed her and planted cocaine in her pocket.

Two policemen knocked on my door earlier and asked me to come down to the station to help them with their inquiries.
I told them to fuck off though. I meanˏ itʹs not like they ever pop into my office to give me a helping hand with the accounts.

Police were present in the city center and on horseback. My mate walked up to one and started stroking the horse. He then said ʹʹHow long does it take to train one of these?ʹʹ
Copper repliedˏ ʹʹAround 6 months.ʹʹ
My mateˏ quick as a flashˏ saidˏ ʹʹI was talking to the horse.ʹʹ

Number Of Police ʹWill Fall By 10ˏ000ʹ.
How can they be so sure whatʹs going to happen in eight thousand years time?